When was the last time you bowled? It had been a while for me but when a dear friend wanted to go, I didn’t hesitate. How could it possibly go wrong? It would be fun, lots of laughs and the creation of great memories. What I did not realize is that there was a great life lesson in it.
There were four of us with two lanes; others were supposed to join us but could not. This left us lots of time to hone our bowling skills. The bowling shoes fit like an old pair of slippers. The bowling balls came in a variety of sizes so there was no issue for my smaller feet and hands. (In other words, I can’t blame the shoes or the bowling ball for what was coming next.) The issue, however, came when I began to bowl. They may say (whoever ‘they’ are) that anything you haven’t done for a while is like riding a bike, just get back on and it all comes back to you. I concur in terms of the actual act of bowling.
Hold the ball with two hands in front of your chest with fingers in the holes of said ball.
Swing the ball back with your dominant hand.
Swing the ball forward and let go…oh yeah, and aim for the pins.
How hard could it be? Well, needless to say I was a bit rusty.
The kind bowling attendant (I had no idea there was such a job) asked if I wanted
‘bumpers’ for my lane. “No thank you”, I replied, “I got this.” Aren’t bumpers for kids? Children who are first learning to bowl may need bumpers but I’m an adult, no bumpers needed. Or so I thought.
Gutter ball after gutter ball, I became more determined. I am going to hit more than one pin! Or I am at least going to hit one pin! After the first game, I realized maybe in life sometimes we need a little help or support; sometimes determination isn’t enough. Begrudgingly, I asked the bowling attendant for bumpers. He graciously showed me how to press a simple button to set so that every time it was my turn to bowl, the bumpers automatically appeared. (Wouldn’t it be nice if help just appeared every time we needed it?!)
This fun day of bowling got me thinking about how in life we need more than determination. While drive is powerful and is often the push to get us moving in the direction we want to go, sometimes we need help. Asking for it can be tough for many people. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help with bowling! Anyone can bowl I thought…not so! How then does one ask for help? For me, it was admitting to myself that I could possibly do better with the bumpers and might enjoy the game more if I was seeing better results. Once I acknowledged this to myself, I was able to ask for help.
What does it take for you to ask for help? Are there certain people that are easier to ask than others in your life? Is there a specific kind of help that is really hard to ask for? Remembering that bumpers were made for many people, not just kids, and not just me, helped me to allow help. Why struggle? The truth is, life is challenging. In the past five years, we have experienced a pandemic, a war with Russia and Ukraine, a horrific attack on Jewish people at a music festival which included torture, murders and many being held hostage, and now a politically divided country with many changes happening every day. More personally, relationships with partners/spouses, family and friends can present tough times for sure. Why not ask for help? Ask your friends and/or family to help and if they are not willing or able, seek professional help. Whether it is a professional bowling attendant or a professional therapist. Either way, we all need help in life as we are not experts at everything.
Why struggle? Get the bumpers.