Who doesn’t want a better relationship? Maybe you don’t, but why wouldn’t you want to improve an already satisfying relationship? Or if instead you and your partner struggle with communication, sex, or finances (3 common areas of stress for couples), I’m going to tell you what you can do RIGHT NOW to improve your relationship. It is not rocket science. It is something I’m sure you have done before and maybe already today did it. I’m confident your partner has done it before
Do you know what it could be? Maybe you can guess. But think for a moment…what could you do right now that won’t cost you anything and would help to make your spouse feel good and closer to you? It doesn’t cost a penny and doesn’t have to take more than 30 seconds of time yet has
so much meaning when it’s done authentically.
Let’s start with the things that won’t help your relationship…
1. Being self-absorbed.
2. Not touching each other.
3. Not spending quality time together.
4. Not being thoughtful and asking
about your partner’s day.
5. Name calling.
Ok, have you figured it out yet?
It is APPRECIATION! Let your significant other know that you appreciate him or her. But don’t stop there. Whenever we offer positive feedback, it is critically important that we give SPECIFIC details about what in particular we appreciate. For example, saying, “I really appreciate you” is nice to
hear but “I appreciate how you make me coffee every morning because it lets me know you are thinking about me” is a more meaningful statement. When we feel appreciated in our relationships (and not taken for granted) it typically makes us want to give more-and when we give more, it often inspires our partner to give back more. This becomes a WIN-WIN!!
Too often times I hear clients talk about how they don’t want to give to their spouse because their spouse doesn’t give to them. Obviously, the marriage didn’t start out like that. Most people are great at giving to their partner at the beginning of the relationship and when their expectations
are not met (sometimes unrealistic expectations) they stop giving. This becomes the beginning of the demise of the relationship. Instead of reacting to your partner, just be the best partner you can
be! It will motivate your partner to do the same.