Watch How You Speak…to YOURSELF! By Stacey Rose, PhD, LCSW

We all know that communication in a relationship is one of the keys to success; but how many of us are really in touch with how we communicate with ourselves? In other words, we all have an internal monologue that goes on throughout the day. Sometimes we are aware of it and other times it is more subtle and subconscious. How many times have you said to yourself, “I can’t do that!” Just this one sentence can limit our behavior and hence, our lives. Many people have limiting beliefs and are not aware of it. Let this article serve as an invitation into your inner monologue. An invitation to truly listen to how you speak to yourself…You may learn a great deal…about you!

If you say any of the following statements to yourself…I urge you to find a more positive and hopeful way to talk to yourself…you deserve to be kind, loving and supportive to you… you don’t talk to anyone more than you do yourself!

Do you say:
“I can’t do that.”
“I would never try that.”
“That is only for those kind of people.”
“I’m not able to …”
“I’m not deserving of…”
“I can’t stand it.”
“I wish I could…”

If you answered yes to any of the above, you are closing a door on possible opportunities for growth for yourself. Yes, we have all heard the expression ‘if you never try, you’ll never know but when we believe in our gut that we cannot achieve something, we put that message out into the universe and it comes back to be true. At that point, we can say to ourselves, “See, I knew I wouldn’t be able to achieve it!” This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What we believe often comes to fruition. Now, I’m not suggesting that simply believing in the next 5 minutes you are going to win the lottery (possible but not probable-especially if you haven’t bought a ticket…which I’m not recommending, but I digress…), instead I’m suggesting that our deep beliefs and visions about what we are capable of can truly influence our lives-negatively or positively-your choice!

So…I’d like to suggest you try these ‘thoughts’ on for size…and even if they don’t feel like they ‘fit’, try and visualize yourself believing them. For example, if you want to obtain a new job but don’t believe it can happen, actually see yourself going through each step can help bring it to reality– sending a resume, visualize getting an email or phone call to ask for an interview; see yourself walking confidently into the interview and then see the interviewer offer you the job. Here are some more positive thoughts you can try on…

“I can at least try and see what happens.”
“I am deserving of good experiences.”
“Just like any other human being, I deserve love.”
“I’ve done many things before that I didn’t know I could do until I tried.”
“I’m capable of doing anything I set my mind to-I just have to want it badly enough!”
“I can handle it.”

By substituting positive thoughts/beliefs with negative ones, you are destined to have a life that is filled with more growth and confidence! So again…watch how you speak…to yourself!

For help shifting your mindset…feel free to reach out to me at or 732- 517-1177…You don’t have to live a limited life anymore!