From 94.3 The Point
Does your mother-in-law or any other member of your spouse’s family cause you and your partner to fight? Here’s what our relationship expert has to say.
Stacey Rose from the Rose Relationship Learning Center is on our morning show each Monday at 7:30 and this week we discussed coping with hard-to-deal-with in-laws.
One caller told us he is trying to learn to cope with his brother’s wife. He says this woman is mean to their whole family, especially their parents, and he has trouble watching this woman treat his parents badly and hurting them.
Meanwhile, his brother and the ‘evil wife’ have kids, so the rest of the family just tries to keep the peace so that they can see the kids. People have even tried talking to the brother, and to the sister-in-law, but they can’t get through to him, or to her, and she keeps hurting the whole family, especially his parents.
We also got listener comments about trying to cope with their mother-in-law and the tension it can cause when a wife feels like her mother-in-law doesn’t really like her or tries to intrude too much in the marriage and the wife has to deal with a husband who feels caught in the middle between his mother and his wife.
So what does Stacey Rose have to say?
Well, in the instance of the brother trying to deal with his brother’s wife, Stacey says maybe he could ask his brother what he sees in her, how he fell in love with her, and to describe some of her good qualities. Then maybe the family can see a more positive side of this woman.
The family should also realize that they shouldn’t take this woman’s comments and actions personally. You can’t always change someone’s personality, but you can stop taking what she does personally, and realize it’s who she is, and it’s not about you.
Also, for the sake of the kids, keeping the peace is a good thing so that they kids can still get all the love, time, and attention that the family wants to give them.
As for dealing with an evil mother-in-law, Stacey says not to put your husband in the middle of that situation. You can tell your husband how you are feeling, but it is best to ask your mother in law if the two of you can have a face-to-face conversation at a time that is good for both of you. Then you can tell her how you feel and ask her if the two of you can work having a better relationship, without your husband being torn as to whose side he should take when he loves you both.
And remember…your husband exists because of your mother-in-law, and probably has some of the same qualities she does since he grew up with her as a mother. And you fell in love with those qualities in your spouse.
Stacey goes on to say that, many times, you and your mother-in-law are more alike than you think, so maybe you can take a look at it that way…and instead of hating her, you can find common ground.
If you’d like to talk to Stacey Rose about any of your relationship problems, tune in and call in on Monday mornings starting at 7:30 (732-988-POINT) or contact Stacey HERE.