It’s that time of year again; the time when summer comes to an end, kids get ready to go back to school and soon the season will change. As we soak in the last bits of summer and prepare for the fall, I ask you … what is coming to an end for you? What is starting for you? What parts of your relationship would you like to ‘come to an end’ (maybe the fighting?) and what parts would you like to begin (even begin again-maybe connection?) Use the seasons as a reminder to check in with yourself and your relationships.
As I sat with a client recently, I heard myself say, “Everything ends- be it from a death, a divorce or a decision.” My client looked at me sadly. I went on to say though that if we focus on the endings, we will stay in that sad space (which is okay for some time). But instead if we focus on the time in between the beginning and the end, we tend to be more relaxed, present and engaged. For instance, think about the last movie you went to see. When you entered the theater and started watching previews and eating your popcorn, were you thinking about how the movie was going to end?? I doubt it. Then when the movie started, were you thinking about how it was going to end? Possibly. But my guess is that (assuming it was a good movie), you were engrossed in the moment-focused solely on what action was happening in front of you at that time. This is what I encourage people to do- focus on the NOW … focus on what happens in your life between the beginning and end of something. This applies to a job, a relationship, anything! When we live in the past, we often feel depressed, when we live in the future, we often feel anxious-but the gift of living in the moment is truly a PRESENT … hence, the word being ‘PRESENT.’
So again, what is ending and what is beginning for you? Let this time of year be your ‘back to something.’ Kids go back to school and adults can go back to their marriages/relationships/jobs/selves. In other words, check back with your partner, yourself, etc. and consciously decide what needs attention. As my youngest child goes off to college and I am left with bittersweet emotions, I will go back to myself-deepening my self care practices and beginning a whole new chapter of my life.
I invite and encourage you-no matter what life stage you are in- to go back and deepen your relationship with yourself and your loved ones. Because … It’s that time again …
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