Ten Keys To A Successful Marriage

The Rose Relationship Learning CenterPeople ask me all the time what are some of the basics to having a successful marriage. Here they are:

  1. Imagine that everyday could the last day with your spouse. What how you treat him/her differently.
  2. If you have children, get a reliable babysitter that comes to stay with them once a week so you and your spouse can go out on a date. (It doesn’t have to be costly, get creative…picnic in a park, walk on the beach, go out to garage sales – the date can be any time of the day/night)
  3. Remember your spouse was once a child. Try to see your spouse as an innocent child who may have grown up in less than perfect circumstances.
  4. Laugh together. Find a funny movie to watch, see a comedy show or  tell each other jokes.
  5. Let each other know what you appreciate about each other, every day.
  6. Talk with your spouse about how and when you met. Tell others the story. Watch each other smile as you tell it.
  7. Respect each other, even when angry. Do not use your partner’s most vulnerable issues against him/her. Don’t  hit “below the belt”.
  8. Make love. Often. Even if you don’t feel it or are too ‘tired’. Sex is a critical part of a marriage.
  9. Take care of yourself, emotionally, spiritually , and physically. By taking care of yourself, you take care of you marriage. (Individual therapy, recover from your addictions, lose weight, deal with your issues).
  10. Speak from your heart, not defensively. Communicate your feelings, thoughts and requests to your partner and how s/he choose to respond is up to him/her.

If you apply some or all of these to your marriage, you will have a successful and happier relationship.