You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. ~Wayne W. Dyer
So often we focus on our partner; their strengths, weaknesses, what we wish they’d do differently, how we wait until they change. All of this is outside of our control. Maybe we need to look at ourselves instead. We can change who we are, how we respond to our spouses/partners and that is completely within our control.
How is your relationship with yourself? Are you one of those people who really enjoys your own company? Or are you one of those people who hates to be alone? Maybe, you’re in the middle and like alone time and being with others. Answer these questions to see how you score on your relationship with YOU.
1. Have you ever eaten a meal alone in public?
2. Would you ever go to a party by yourself?
3. Do you go to the movies alone?
4. Do you exercise alone?
5. For women: When out to dinner with friends, do you need to go to the ladies room with your girlfriend?
6. Do you stay alone in your home at night comfortably?
7. Do you enjoy journal writing or meditating?
8. Do you sit quietly without t.v., computer, or music on for more than ten minutes?
9. Would you vacation by yourself?
10. Do you ever laugh out loud or talk to yourself?
Chances are the more ‘yes’ answers you have, the more comfortable you are with yourself. If you did not have many ‘yes’ answers, you may want to challenge yourself to any one or more of these suggestions. From being comfortable with ourselves comes confidence and clarity. Clarity about who you are as a person, what you want and don’t want in your life, and your dreams, goals, and ambitions. Time alone may also be an opportunity to grieve past hurts or losses which can be healing. No matter what you do with your alone time, take it and make time for you. Getting to know yourself on a deeper level is a gift you give to you and those around you.